Generally speaking, the view of sexuality is heteronormative , that is, it is based on the traditional sexual scripts of heterosexual relationships that involve penetration (of a penis into a vagina). For many, a sexual relationship can only be considered complete if the act of penetration takes place , ideally with ejaculation.
However, many of us don’t want penetration – all the time or sometimes – for very valid reasons: preference for other sex acts like foreplay, pain, low arousal, fear of injunction to performance, etc.
It’s hard to counter the idea that penetration is essential, since that’s how sexuality has been presented for a long time, and therefore, learned by most as they grow up. Moreover, this conception of a sexual relationship does not take into account pleasure other than that of the penis, just like the fact that not everyone is heterosexual. Surprise! Of course, queer people and straight women can enjoy penetration, but it would be sad to leave out all the other joys of sex.
There are therefore several problems in this vision that we have of sexuality
First of all, it’s important to know that there is no one action or thing in particular that defines what can or cannot be considered a sexual act. The only thing that is needed is the consent of everyone involved . Otherwise, whether it’s fondling, oral sex or otherwise, there are no standards to follow .
And let’s not forget, people with vaginas don’t just reach orgasm through penetration. The key to ecstasy for these people is clitoral stimulation , which can be done externally as well as internally. As these notions are not generally presented in the sex education system, we often forget this clitoris!
Solo sexuality should also be valued . We tend to completely put aside masturbation , while it is a privileged contact that we have with ourselves. And guess what! Most women masturbate… without involving the penetration of their fingers or a toy into their vagina!
Indeed, other people do not necessarily have to be involved to consider that one has a sexuality! Just because someone is single and not sleeping with anyone doesn’t automatically mean they don’t have a sex life.
Sexual practices are varied and you have the right to give less space to penetration (or any other act that does not suit you) freely. Your sex life should look just like you!
Morning people have a more active sex life
Little scenario: it’s the weekend and you have no plan, except to take it easy! The idea of sleeping in has crossed your mind, but what about your better half? Are you on the same wavelength or is one member of your couple more morning than the other? Well, know that a new study shows that people who get up voluntarily early are more sexually active !
We sometimes have the impression that we can separate ordinary people into two categories: early risers and night owls. And these couldn’t be more different from each other. As a result, they each become quite interesting subjects for studies of personality or lifestyle. Thus, American researchers recently probed the field with 2000 guinea pigs and they came to very surprising conclusions.
More action in bed
It would therefore seem that people who like to get out of bed as soon as the sun rises – or sometimes even well before – all have one thing in common: their bed, they want to use it for something other than sleeping!
Indeed, according to the results recorded, early risers have, on average, three sexual relations per week, against two for night owls. Could it be because this last category of people say they seek more the presence of a pet in bed? For their part, even if they are more sexually active on a weekly basis, early risers are more likely to snore and talk during their sleep . They would sleep an average of seven hours a night, compared to six for night owls.
Two worlds apart
Aside from their sexual appetite , there are many characteristics that separate morning people from those who like to enjoy the nightlife. For example :
- Early risers would love to cook , while night owls mention reading as one of their favorite hobbies.
- Early risers would have a bigger bank account than night owls.
- Early risers believe in love at first sight while night owls have a supernatural side that leads them to believe in ghosts and spirits …
- Finally, it would seem that early risers are sociable, optimistic and confident people, while night owls are more shy, perfectionist and sarcastic.
And you, do you recognize yourself in these so-called typical descriptions of early risers and night owls? Then, how much do you think it can influence your sex life?!